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Wellness trends aren’t all bad. I love hearing about new supernutrients to add to my smoothies, cool workout crazes to try, and more effective ways to meditate. And the latest health fads all seem to have one thing in common: They focus, at least in part, on sustainability.

Take the carbon diet. It’s all about eating in an earth-conscious way and avoiding foods that create the biggest carbon footprint. Spoiler alert — that tends to be meat and animal products. But if going full-on vegetarian or vegan seems a little intimidating though (same), there’s another option, called flexitarianism.

According to Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, who coined the term, it’s a portmanteau of “flexible” and “vegetarian.” The rules are simple — in that there really aren’t any. The general idea is that you aim to eat more plants and less meat. But there are no specific ratios to hit, or any limitations whatsoever on what or when you eat.

This flexible approach to eating means you can still enjoy everything you like without feeling guilty about harming the Earth, says Mascha Davis MPH, RDN, founder of NomadistaNutrition.com and author of the newly released book Eat Your Vitamins. And that actually makes flexitarianism easier to stick with long-term.

“We can only really maintain that distance from [the food we crave] for so long before we eventually just say, Screw it, throw our hands up, and allow ourselves to have it,” Cara Harbstreet, MS, RD, LD, of Street Smart Nutrition, previously told Refinery29. If you’re always allowed to eat your favorite food (say, steak), you never have that moment where you feel like you’re “quitting” or “failing” by giving in and cooking up a New York strip. You’re just choosing to have something that makes you feel good.

Generally speaking, eating more plants means taking in more fiber, more antioxidants, and more nutrients, Davis points out. Research into plant-based diets and other similar ways of eating seems to indicate that it’s not harmful to your body, as long as you’re getting enough nutrients.

“If you’re cutting out meat and animal products, make sure to monitor levels of nutrients such as B12 and iron,” Davis suggests. Animal products are rich in these, so you’ll want to make sure you’re getting enough of them while building up your plant intake. Your doctor can test your levels and recommend a good supplement if you’re ever unsure that you’re getting enough from food alone.

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This story was originally published on January 31st, additional reporting was added.

A snack for the ages. A snack for the gods. Prince had a whole secret stash of them, and Chrissy Teigen and Kim Kardashian have both expressed a desire to revive them. In fact, there are whole entire internet groups dedicated to bringing back Dunkaroos.

Well, 2020 is the year it will finally happen. Earlier on Friday, junk food fan accounts and Instagram users alike spotted a brand new account pop up on Instagram. Dunkaroos joined Instagram, a move that many interpreted as a sign of the product’s return to store shelves. Then this Monday morning, the newly minted-Twitter account announced the snack’s return is slated for the summer of 2020.

🚨 Definitely coming back. Summer 2020. 🚨 pic.twitter.com/PcTswQ2TRy

— Dunkaroos (@Dunkaroos) February 3, 2020

In true food brand Twitter fashion, the first post on the Dunkaroos verified Instagram account is a close-up of the much-missed icing dotted with rainbow sprinkles, with a very minimal caption consisting of only the side-eye emoji. Is this a shy-cute way of saying hello? It sure is.

The brand also launched its Twitter page this month, kicking 2020 off to a very promising start — at least when it comes to snacks.

Refinery29 had reached out to Dunkaroos’ parent company on Friday, General Mills, and a spokesperson declined to comment on the return of Dunkaroos but assured Refinery29 that General Mills has a lot of exciting things coming up in 2020. This morning, the spokesperson confirmed that this summer would see the return of the beloved snack in it’s most iconic flavor, Vanilla Cookies and Vanilla Frosting with Rainbow Sprinkles.

Back in 2018, what was later determined to be a fake tweet depicting a (fabricated) direct message exchange between a Dunkaroos fan and the official Betty Crocker page launched a social media campaign for the return of Dunkaroos. In said exchange, Betty Crocker’s Twitter account allegedly said it would take 150,000 retweets to bring back the snack. One of these 150,000 retweets included Kim Kardashian herself. Sadly, it was later proven to have never happened. But you could’ve had a Canadian ship them to you.

Obsessed with Dunkaroos. Please come back! https://t.co/4UxtiOQYO1

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 27, 2018

Should they make a comeback this year, we are confident that Dunkaroos will have a place in Kim Kardashian’s fully vegan diet and ethically package-free kitchen, because Dunkaroos are the quintessential symbol of ‘90s nostalgia. And given the youth of today’s love of all things ‘80s and ‘90s – from synthwave music to old school anime – this sugary pastel dream of a snack fits perfectly into our vibe-conscious, aesthetically-driven lives. E-girls and VSCO girls can agree on the snack’s everlasting appeal. So excuse us while we bop to some 80’s remixes of today’s pop songs and revel in the nostalgia loop we deserve.

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Growing up as an only child in a small town, I had a phase during which Barbie was my best friend, role model, and confidant. I hoped someday that I, like Barbie, could be a veterinarian-slash-astronaut, live in a dream house, and ride horses at my stables on the weekends — when I wasn’t flying somewhere lavish on my pink jet. For better or worse, I wanted what Barbie had. 

Those days are long gone, but I still couldn’t help but be intrigued when I heard the news that Mattel was launching a “Barbie Wellness Collection” to help “introduce girls to the benefits of self-care through play.”

As a journalist who’s been covering health and wellness for a few years, my first thought was: Wow, finally I beat Barbie to a trend. My second thought? If they’re selling a yoni egg accessory, I’m out.

Still, when I saw the actual Barbies. I was transported back in time 20 years, and I could just see myself in a Walmart aisle, crying to my mother: I WANT ONE. 

The new collection is chic — if a little surreal. One very specific doll called “Breathe With Me Barbie” caught my eye. Her legs bend to let her sit cross-legged on the floor in a meditation pose. She’s wearing sick, cloud-covered PJs that I myself would love to own. And get this: When you press on her necklace, she will guide you through one of five meditation exercises.

“The collection teaches girls daily routines that promote emotional well-being and includes three key themes: meditation, physical well-being, and self-care; because Barbie knows to be one’s best is to give yourself the best care,” Mattel explains a press release obtained by Cosmopolitan. 

The other dolls are cool, too. Barbie Fitness Doll comes with a yoga mat. (Knowing Barbie, I assume it’s Lululemon.) There’s Barbie Spa Doll, who loves to “soak away the day with spa and bath products that include a rubber duck, magazine, bath brush, towel, box of bath bombs and candle.” As a New Yorker without a bathtub, this Barbie just made me jealous. 

Reading up on these new, Goop-ified Barbies brought me back to the old days of wanting to be Barbie — a phase I thought I’d moved past. It made me wonder if Barbie was doing what she’s always done to me and other kids: setting unrealistic expectations for what life is really like. 

That’s not all bad. After all, kids shouldn’t have to worry about what happens to your bank account when you impulse blow thousands on a wellness retreat to the Maldives. And if Barbie can really encourage some kid to sit down and follow a guided meditation, more power to her. But there is something about living the “dream life” that stays with you and warps you a bit.

That’s why I’m a little concerned about Barbie’s new foray into wellness. Self-care doesn’t have to mean going to the spa, hitting the gym, or even paying $95 annually for a meditation app that you’ll quickly forget you ever downloaded, as Cosmo points out. But Barbie makes life seem so simple, fun, and decadent. Can it be those things? Yes. Do we need to feed kids a message that self-care looks a certain way or comes with expensive bath bombs, at an age when they’d be just as satisfied playing with the box Barbie came in? Probably not. 

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Jennifer Lopez wears many hats. Dancer, singer, queen of the rom-com, TV talent competition judge, beauty icon, mom of twins, bae to A-Rod, wellness influencer. The list goes on. And this Sunday, she’s headlining the Super Bowl halftime show with none other than Shakira. According to Forbes, J.Lo earned over $43 million last year alone. And below, we’re breaking down the Bronx superstar’s prolific career and the big bucks she has deservedly raked in along the way.

Jennifer Lopez got her start as a dancer on In Living Color in 1991, before going on to work as a backup dancer for Janet Jackson — which she quickly parlayed into an acting career. For her starring breakout role in 1997’s Selena, she reportedly earned $1 million, after which she became the highest-paid Latina actress in Hollywood history with her role in Out of Sight. The dozens of films she has starred in, from The Wedding Planner to The Back-up Plan to last year’s Second Act, have altogether reportedly grossed nearly $3 billion.

Her music career lifted off simultaneously alongside her acting career with the release of her first album in 1999, On the 6, which went platinum within weeks of its debut. Her second album, J.Lo, hit number one on the pop charts, and she has since released six more studio albums. By 2018, she had sold 80 million records worldwide and 40 million albums. She is also the first woman to have both a number-one album and film — J.Lo and The Wedding Planner — in the same week.

And her tours are a whole other story. In total, she has reportedly earned approximately $80 million for her five tours over the past two decades. For her Dance Again World Tour in 2012, she reportedly earned over $50 million. And in 2018, she finished her 120-performance Las Vegas residency at Zappos Theater, which grossed over $100 million in two years.

Lopez is no stranger to the small screen either, having served as a judge on American Idol for five seasons. For her first season, she earned $12 million, and her salary grew to $20 million for her second. And now she serves as a judge and executive producer on World of Dance. She also starred in NBC’s Shades of Blue from 2016 to 2018.

Ever the Renaissance woman, Lopez is an entrepreneur, too. She has a clothing line at Kohl’s, a makeup collection with Inglot, and a shoe line with Giuseppe Zanotti, plus more than 20 fragrances (her perfume empire, back in 2012, reportedly was generating over $100 million per year in sales, along with a $5 million licensing fee for Lopez).

As the song goes, she used to have a little, and now she definitely has a lot. Last February, Lopez and Rodriguez bought a Malibu beach house for $6.6 million, one month after listing their Park Avenue NYC apartment for $17.5 million. Previously, Lopez lived in a NoMad penthouse, which she listed for $27 million in 2017.

Altogether, Celebrity Net Worth values J.Lo at $400 million.

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The night before Kobe Bryant died tragically in a helicopter crash on Sunday alongside his 13-year-old daughter Gianna (aka Gigi) and seven other passengers, he took to Twitter to congratulate his longtime friend and fellow Los Angeles Laker LeBron James on beating his own all-time scoring record to become the third-highest point scorer in NBA history. “Continuing to move the game forward @KingJames. Much respect my brother,” Bryant tweeted, in what would be his last public message.

On Monday, the day after news of Bryant’s sudden death shook the world, James responded to the horrific event on Instagram, mourning his mentor, brother, and friend. “Man I sitting here trying to write something for this post but every time I try I begin crying again just thinking about you, niece Gigi and the friendship/bond/brotherhood we had,” he wrote. Now, the NBA star just unveiled a permanent tribute to Bryant: a detailed tattoo — by artist Vanessa Aurelia — on his upper leg of a black mamba snake in reference to Bryant’s nickname, flanked by roses and the numbers “24” and “8,” which he’d used on his jerseys. Beneath the illustration is script that simply reads, “Mamba 4 Life.”

View this post on Instagram

❤️ My brother ♾ #Mamba4Life #RIPKobe #RIPGiGi

A post shared by LeBron James (@kingjames) on Jan 31, 2020 at 4:21pm PST

The first slide of the gallery is an image of the two sitting courtside together, with James’ head leaning lovingly on Bryant’s shoulder. By way of a caption, James wrote, “My brother ♾ #Mamba4Life #RIPKobe #RIPGiGi.” It’s an incredibly moving tribute not just to Bryant, but to his daughter Gigi, whose own love of basketball earned her the nickname “Mambacita.” This likely isn’t the last we’ll see of inked tributes to the late sports hero — but given James’ close longtime relationship to the Bryant family, it is one of the most powerful.

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Just days after making history as the youngest person ever to win Song Of The Year at the Grammys, Billie Eilish is making her Vogue cover debut. In the accompanying interview, the 18-year-old singer opens up about her experiences with depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.

In the profile, Eilish explained that she’s always been fascinated by dark subjects. At age 11, for instance, she wrote a song about suicidal thoughts — even though, according to the performer, the song didn’t reflect her own experiences. “That was the song, at 11,” she said. “And I was totally happy. I had never felt suicidal, and I didn’t want to feel that way, but I liked the idea of writing a song about something I didn’t know about.”

When she was in her early teens, however, that changed. The singer was diagnosed depression, and she self-harmed and experienced suicidal thoughts. She said there were a number of contributing factors, including a romantic partner who treated her badly, a toxic friend group, and a dance injury. But the primary one, she said, was her body image.

“I just hated my body. I would have done anything to be in a different one,” she said. “I really wanted to be a model, really bad, and I was chubby and short. I developed really early. I had boobs at nine. I got my period at 11. So my body was going faster than my brain. It’s funny, because when you’re a little kid, you don’t think of your body at all. And all of a sudden, you look down and you’re, like, whoa. What can I do to make this go away?” 

After a while, Eilish began to make changes in her life to improve her mental health — changes “that she prefers to keep private,” Vogue writer Rob Haskell explains. (Eilish has previously spoken about benefiting from therapy.) By June 2019, “the fog began to lift,” Haskell writes about the singer. 

Eilish also shared an important piece of advice for people in similar situations. “When people ask me what I’d say to somebody looking for advice on mental health, the only thing I can say is patience,” she said. “I had patience with myself. I didn’t take that last step. I waited. Things fade.”

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide or considering self-harm, please get help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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The 2020 presidential nominating contest kicked off in earnest on Monday as caucus-goers convened in Iowa to attempt to winnow the field of Democratic primary contenders. 

The Iowa caucus — the first-in-the-nation voting event that will help to shape the political narrative around the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination — comes as the candidates are locked in an atypical four-way tossup. The four leaders include Sens. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, former vice president Joe Biden, and South Bend mayor Pete Buttigieg. No one of the four leaders of the pack currently standing apart as an obvious choice to face off against incumbent President Donald Trump in November.

After the votes are tallied and the pundit class has had its say on Monday night, the candidates will move on to New Hampshire, where voters will participate in a semi-closed primary election. The process, while quite confusing and lacking transparency in practice, is only one part of the larger election. So, what’s the big difference between a caucus and a primary — and what implications do the early state nominating contests have for the rest of the primary process?

Both primaries and caucuses are about one thing: amassing delegates. In the United States, voters casting a ballot aren’t directly selecting who they want to be the presidential nominee; instead, they’re indirectly influencing the number of delegates their state will send to a given political party’s convention in the summer before an election, and those delegates will then nominate a candidate for the presidency. 

In a caucus, voters engage in debate and give passionate speeches in an effort to convince their fellow caucus-goers to switch their support from one candidate to another. It’s a time-honored tradition that many consider to be quintessentially American: debate vigorously, engage with your neighbors, practice free speech, and, eventually, help to determine through popular vote who will serve as your elected representative. In comparison, a primary is a pared down version of the same process: Voters select their candidate through a blind ballot — usually by bubbling in a name on a form — without all the bells and whistles. This is more in line with the actual voting process we see in the general election.

Although delegates are the name of the game during the primary selecting process, both of the first states to vote have just peanuts to offer in comparison to the rest of the electoral map. Of the 3,979 pledged delegates that will attend the Democratic National Convention in 2020, Iowa and New Hampshire will send just 41 and 24, respectively.

But the voting contests carry increased significance in both states thanks to the outsized blitz of media attention they enjoy, as well as the fact that the candidates who emerge as frontrunners there generally go on to receive their party’s nomination. This was most notably true in 1976, when Jimmy Carter’s upstart campaign emerged victorious, stunning the nation and eventually netting Carter the presidency. 

No matter what happens in Iowa on Monday, the results will be sure to shape the rest of the primary process — and, inevitably, the outcome of the general election in November.

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As the generally accepted Wellness Agenda continues to shapeshift, one of its most celebrated tenants remains miraculously intact: “work-life balance.” Think of it as an organizational method for life, which seemingly demands that each of us: 1) Maintain an illustrious, lucrative career, 2) Nurse a thriving personal life (add: activism, romance, family, etc.), and 3) Ensure that both of the former categories exist in an utterly unattainable, magic breed of symbiosis.

The whole work-life-balance ideal came into existence as a way of promoting a healthier lifestyle — one where the modern careerist was free to “have it all” without having too much. Where client meetings didn’t overtake time with family and friends, and the messy business of personal livelihood didn’t occlude all manner of professional success. The sentiment is an important one: We shouldn’t have to choose. 

In 2017, the French passed a law declaring that no company could hold its employees accountable for email responses after 6 p.m. “Girl boss” outlets across the U.S. tirelessly promote the importance of having your cake and eating it too. A 2018 study found that 72% of Americans in the workforce consider work-life balance a pivotal factor when seeking out jobs.

Like most idealistic pillars of wellness, though, the pursuit of equilibrium comes with a pressure all its own. Memes repeatedly poke fun at the stress that’s tied to keeping up with a job and a social life, while adhering to a 17-step skin regimen and occasionally drinking water. Just last week, my roommate — who is, at present, training for a marathon and taking a pottery class, alongside her slightly-more-than-full-time job — pointed out that she was stressed about “fitting in productive downtime.” Yes, she’s an American hero, but beyond that, the takeaway is that sometimes, the pressure to maintain an even, distinct balance between so-called “work” and so-called “life” can be just as overwhelming as each of those categories themselves. Not to mention the fact that there is immense privilege associated with the idea of “work-life balance” to begin with.

But what about those of us who manage to remove the scale entirely — who abandon the prescriptive notion that our professional and personal lives should be experienced separately and in equal measure?

“Sometimes it’s hard for us to tell what’s ‘life’ and what’s ‘work’ — they’ve sort of blended together in this amazing way,” says Helena Barquet, cofounder of Coming Soon, a New York-based gallery-like furniture and design shop with a thriving online retail operation to boot. “The two become more enmeshed by the day, and we don’t necessarily feel like that’s a bad thing.”

While Barquet’s situation may be unique (she and her cofounder, Fabiana Faria, are married), she’s not alone in deviating from rigid work-life duality — particularly in a time rife with freelancers and entrepreneurs, for whom the professional and the personal often feel unavoidably intertwined. Ahead, we talk with Barquet and Faria, along with self-employed photographer turned Instagram icon Sarah Bahbah, and creative partners Hannah Choi and Shannon Kennard of hair-care brand Baby Tress — all of whom rely on Shopify, a platform dedicated to helping independent vendors start, run, and grow their businesses. Here’s how they’re rewriting the laws of work-life duality. 

Helena Barquet & Fabiana Faria (Coming Soon)

As far as names go, “Coming Soon” is a relatively noncommittal one. “I liked the idea that, like with everything else…it meant things were always going to be shifting and evolving,” says Faria.

On a street that felt “particularly New York” to both women, lined with a like-minded community of up-and-coming vendors in the retail sphere, the two women created a space that felt, to them, like another home. “Everyone who owned a business on that street was in there day in and day out,” says Faria. “And so were we. We practically lived [in the store].” While the two didn’t move into an apartment together until years later, to a degree, the store — cloistered down Orchard Street, where Chinatown meets the Lower East Side — was their shared living space. 

Conveniently, the same can be said for the company as a whole. Faria and Barquet met in more traditional roles, working in the same Chelsea art gallery. In due time, both women felt they’d “hit a ceiling.” While they had been involved romantically from the get-go, they were ready to take the plunge into “business partner territory.” So together, they quit. “We really felt like we had to free ourselves up and jump into our new project completely,” says Faria. “We couldn’t just do it halfway.”

Naturally, the lines between home-life and work-life continued to blur as business picked up, and, in turn, their romantic relationship intensified. They honed in on their image — loud, vibrant, kitschy but never tacky. They built up their online shop on Shopify and solidified their status as furniture vendors. And on the side, they began dipping their toes into interior design. Not only have they seemingly subverted the work-life-balance model, but they’ve burned it to the ground completely.

“Sure, for a lot of people, there’s this idea that you can finish work, then you’re done. We don’t have that. Our work brains never shut off. It’s hard to compartmentalize. We live and breathe our jobs — that is our lifestyle,” says Barquet. “Then, at the same time, we get to do what we love. Every single day. And we get to be together. Every single day. And that means that some of the work just feels like pleasure, too.”

For all the days that require late-night emails or early-morning pickups, just as often, the workday brings joy or even leisure. Often, between the shop’s hours of 12 and 7:30, there is just as much bliss — and togetherness, and creative propulsion — as most of us hope for in our off hours. 

“I understand that this lifestyle isn’t for everyone,” says Barquet. “But we fell in love working together. And I couldn’t imagine it any other way.”

Sarah Bahbah

Whether or not you can conjure her face, it’s all but guaranteed that you’re familiar with Sarah Bahbah’s work. The Instagram auteur — who is, to some degree, a forebearer of the original meme (her photographs have displayed overlaid captions since the start of her career) — is responsible for a number of images that have circulated through your social feeds, probably more than once. Most notably: a film-grain image of a naked girl, only her bent knees visible, a slice of pizza dangling from her hand. Years ago, you probably posted it on your Tumblr. 

The daughter of two Palestinian immigrants, raised in a particularly whitewashed area of Australia, Bahbah has long felt that photography is an important reflector of identity. “Each series I’ve ever done is very personal to me and drawn from my own traumas. Each holds a very special place in my heart,” she explains. “Growing up with traditional, conservative, Palestinian parents, and going to a very Western school, I felt like I was being raised one way at home and another at school. In many cases I had to behave ‘white’ to be accepted by my peers. Its taken me years to undo that mentality, and I’m still undergoing that process by telling my truth through my art.”

While working in advertising and building her freelance photo career on the side, Bahbah began to garner some acclaim for her portraits (her on-image captions — inspired by French film stills — quickly became her signature). So, she quit her job, secured a visa, and moved to the United States. “I just had an intuition that it was time. I tend to be sort of spiritual about those things,” she says. “At a certain point, it felt like the universe was whispering in my ear, so I had to go. I wouldn’t necessarily give that advice to anyone else, but I knew it was time for me to take my art more seriously.”

Now that she’s become something of a household name amongst influencers and industry folks, Bahbah says, when she’s not shooting, the admin work is endless. There are correspondences with clients (think: major fashion labels), there are invoices, there are fans to respond to on social media, and prints to sell by way of Shopify. “As a brown woman, I feel like I’m constantly having to reassert my voice with clients — I’m constantly fighting to have labels honor my rates as they would with less experienced white men,” she explains. “Right now, it feels like 80% of my work is administrative and 20% is creative. But for 2020, I’m trying to change that ratio.”

That 80% — the largely unsexy portion of independent business — leaves little time for a balanced, compartmentalized, work-life dichotomy. But Bahbah finds time for decompression in her own, un-rigid way.

“Some days, I wake up and I would rather do anything than work. On those days, it’s important that I don’t put pressure on myself. Sometimes it means I need to sleep in. Some days it means an hour workout or going out for breakfast, because mental health comes first. And there are certain headspaces I know I can’t work in,” she says. As she sees it, there’s no formula. There’s no 6 p.m., laptop-down cutoff. The work is constant, so the odd personal moment has to be wedged in, carefully, on days when there’s no set to schlep to, gear in tow, before the sun rises. Rather than a balanced scale, it more closely resembles a salad bowl of professional pushes and personal tidbits.

“I’m always hoping to make time to create art just for the sake of art. To tell my story, rather than just make something pretty. A lot of working artists forget to do that. I’m nursing a broken heart at the moment, so I’ve been focusing myself back on personal projects,” Bahbah laughs. “But I’m so sorry to the human I’m about to annihilate.” 

Shannon Kennard & Hannah Choi (Baby Tress) 

“‘Edges’ are really part of a larger story,” says Baby Tress cofounder Shannon Kennard. “Edge styling comes from a whole complicated, beautiful tradition. It’s exciting to make something that celebrates that.”

The Baby Tress “Edge Styler” is the first product on the market designed, specifically, for shaping baby hairs. “For years, most women have used toothbrushes [to style edges],” says Kennard. “We figured it was about time we put something more glamorous on the market.”

Two years prior to the product’s release, Kennard’s cofounder, Hannah Choi, opened her own NYC-based creative agency, Mama Tress, focused on hair and beauty products designed for women of color. “In the Black hair and beauty space, there’s always been this gap between consumers and sellers,” says Choi. “For the agency, my goal was to really connect with consumers and to have real conversations and build real relationships and bridge that gap.” 

Having formerly worked in branding and social media at a beauty supply company owned by her parents, Choi was familiar with the ways home life can infiltrate work life and vice versa — even before she’d begun a company of her own. Fortunately, her family was supportive in the transition. In fact, they signed on as her first clients — one more way her professional and personal realms came braided together. “Nothing about my work-life balance is even-keeled,” says Choi. “I guess it’s been an evolution of learning how to catch myself before burning out.”

In the early stages of the agency, Choi met Kennard — who, at the time, was writing freelance social media copy — and brought her on board. As the (small) team sat together, brainstorming trinkets they could develop as event handouts, the idea for Baby Tress was born. And soon after, Choi and Kennard set out as creative partners to make their revolutionary product a reality: first, building prototypes, then selling their early iterations on Shopify. 

“A lot of what we do here is spend as much time as possible talking to people — friends, customers, significant others — about what they want and what they need,” says Kennard. “The best advice I ever got was to bring your ideas and your world together.” But naturally, jamming your personal and professional lives together in seemingly inseparable ways can be as complicated as it is inspirational. “I find that most revelations and good ideas come when I’m not in the office,” she adds, “so it can be difficult to ‘turn off.’” Still, this doesn’t seem to strike Kennard as a problem. In fact, as she sees it, the melding of life and work is a factor in Baby Tress’ success, rather than a hindrance.

For Choi, that same ethos applies with respect to family. Having grown up in a household where business and kin were intermingled, she feels at home among a tangled, bespoke iteration of the work-life conundrum. But that’s not to say it’s easy. “My parents worked Monday through Saturday, from as early as 5 in the morning to 8 at night. Looking back, they didn’t often have the physical or emotional energy to be fully present with me when we did spend time together,” says Choi. “Now, as a working adult, I get to be mindful about how I want to prioritize my own life, on my own terms.”

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we’re tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We’re asking millennials how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a School Counselor working in Education who makes $50,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on plastic flatware.

Occupation: School Counselor
Industry: Education
Age: 26
Location: Columbus, OH
Salary: $50,000
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,330 (post-deductions)
Gender Identity: cis woman

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $975 for a one-bedroom apartment
Student Loans: $381 (My parents paid for undergrad and I have about $50,000 from grad school)
Medical Insurance: $50/paycheck (pre-tax)
Dental Insurance: $7/month (pre-tax)
Short Term Disability: $16/paycheck (pre-tax)
State Teachers Retirement System: $290/paycheck (pre-tax)
Union Dues: $48/paycheck (pre-tax)
Health Savings Account: $63/paycheck (pre-tax)
WiFi, Gas, Electric: ~$130/month (water is supposed to be billed quarterly by my landlord but it’s been seven months and I have yet to be billed…)
Spotify: $10.74
Mobile Phone: $71.50 ($40 for service, $10 for AppleCare, $21.50 for a 0% APR Affirm loan for my iPhone 8)
Bernie Sanders Campaign: $10 (I just started this, other charitable contributions are ad hoc)
Car Insurance: $375 every six months
Renter’s Insurance: $115 annually
Savings: I have a monthly $200 automatic transfer to my savings but it doesn’t always stay there…

Day One

11 a.m. — I get out of bed. My sleep schedule gets so messed up on the weekends. I shower and head to a nearby bakery to pick up croissants ($19 + $1 tip). I drive to my friends’ F. & K.’s house because we’re planning to cook something delicious together today. $20

12:15 p.m. — We drink coffee, eat croissants, and finally decide on a menu — chicken tinga, pico de gallo, salsa, and margaritas. After a while, we head to the grocery store. I try to slip a $20 bill to F. after checkout, but she rebuffs me multiple times.

6 p.m. — We cook a feast and hang out for a long time. I love friends. Everything we make is so good — thanks Serious Eats and J. Kenji Lopez-Alt!

11 p.m. — When I leave their house, I realize that it snowed a little bit! It’s beautiful but makes me nervous driving. I never grew up with snow and I get a little excited at the thought that we might get a snow day if it keeps up! I drive home (I had one margarita over four hours), pump up the heat, and stand around watching Last Chance U in my coat until my apartment feels warm enough to change into PJs. I use my mom’s Netflix login but might need to reassess soon since I think she may cancel. I drink a seltzer and use a cotton pad to wipe Thayer’s Witch Hazel on my face. I finish the episode with my head and laptop fully under the duvet, then go to sleep.

Daily Total: $20

Day Two

9:40 a.m. — Three-day weekend! I roll out of bed and get ready quickly. F. and K. pick me up to go to brunch in German Village. I get an orange brioche à tête and a cold brew ($8.89 with tip). We sit for a while, chatting and tasting everyone’s food. Then we walk around in the cold and make admiring comments about strangers’ houses. $8.89

1 p.m. — They drop me off and I call my mom while I do some half-assed cleaning (throw a load of laundry in, do some dishes). I’m happy that there’s a free washer and dryer in the basement of my building. My apartment is at the point where I can’t do any real cleaning until I tidy up all the stuff everywhere and I don’t feel like doing that. I think about MLK day and make a donation to the Southern Poverty Law Center ($10) because I’m not sure how best to honor him. $10

2:30 p.m. — I take the load out of the washer and hang it up, then bundle up for the walk to the library. I listen to Who? Weekly as I walk. At the library, I look for a book that the website said was on the shelf (Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney) but I can’t find it. I don’t feel like taking off my coat and scarf but it’s really warm which is making me feel queasy. I check out Hitting a Straight Lick with a Crooked Stick by Zora Neale Hurston and two children’s books on teasing that I had on hold for work, then dip. I continue to listen to Who? Weekly as I walk home and lol when Bobby and Lindsey talk about Paris Hilton making lasagna.

5 p.m. — After bopping around on the internet, putting another load of laundry in, and doing some work for classroom lessons I have tomorrow, I drive to the grocery store. I check the Kroger app for coupons and get a reusable grocery bag from my trunk before heading in. I buy cranberry-lime seltzer, black iced coffee, and blueberry muffins ($10.77). If I don’t have something in the house that both tastes good and doesn’t require prep, I will 100% mobile order an iced coffee and piece of pumpkin bread from Starbucks every day on the way to work. It’s something I’m trying to work on! $10.77

6 p.m. — I take my laundry out of the dryer and drive to my friend R.’s house for Monday meal. Every Monday, a group of friends from grad school rotates whose house we go to for dinner. It’s something I look forward to every week! We eat chickpea tomato peanut stew with rice and toasted pita. Everything is delicious — R. says she got the recipe from Minimalist Baker.

9 p.m. — I stop to fill my tires with air on the way home. When I get home, I fold my laundry and watch Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta on nbc.com. #leavetanyaalone

11 p.m. — I round out the weekend with a lil bowl of chips and salsa and two Hershey’s nuggets in bed while watching my last ep of Last Chance U. Watching Cheer over winter break opened me up to a whole new world of sports documentaries!

Daily Total: $29.66

Day Three

5:30 a.m. — Start pressing snooze.

6:10 a.m. — Get out of bed, shower, dress. Take my muffin and iced coffee with unsweetened almond milk on the road. I buy almond milk because it lasts longer in the fridge than cow’s milk and is the cheapest non-dairy milk. Writing this down makes me rethink — I do know about the environmental implications of almonds. Everything is so complicated… but I succeeded in avoiding Starbucks!

7:25 a.m. — Arrive at work. It’s a whirlwind of classroom lessons, administering state tests, a few individual sessions, and consulting with teachers and parents. We have a staff meeting after school. I eat a brownie.

3:45 p.m. — Leave work. On the way home, I stop by a (different) library to pick up some more children’s books. I start out my drive listening to Whitney. It makes me feel too wistful so I put on DaBaby. Can’t decide if I want to lesson plan when I get home or get up early and do it.

4:45 p.m. — Home! Cut up a potato, toss it with olive oil and lots of salt and pepper, and stick it in the oven. I eat the potato with green salad but only half the amount I intended. The lid came off the plastic container while I was shaking the dressing around and half of the salad flew all over the kitchen. It’s when things like that happen that I have to remember all the impulse control skills I preach to the elementary schoolers. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

11:45 p.m. — Well, the rest of the day was a waste. Over the course of six hours and the first six episodes of The Circle, I fall asleep, wake up, eat a muffin, and wash a load of towels. Hopefully, tomorrow will be more productive.

Daily Total: $0

Day Four

6:40 a.m. — Finally out of bed after far too many snoozes.

7:05 a.m. — Out the door. Today is not a day I can resist the siren call of Starbucks. Pleasantly surprised to see I have $4.61 on the app and 50 stars so I can order my venti iced coffee with non-fat milk and pumpkin bread without spending new money!

7:30 a.m. — Arrive at work. Today’s another testing day and classroom lesson day plus double duty because I swapped for scheduling reasons yesterday.

4:30 p.m. — I leave work after some good chats with coworkers. I love coworkers! I realize that I need to get moving though — F., K., and I have a dinner reservation for 5:15 p.m.

5:15 p.m. — I arrive at the restaurant after stopping home for a quick change. The host and I chat about working in schools and being tired. F. and K. arrive soon after me. Even though we’re at a brewery, I feel like a cocktail. I order a tequila one from the menu but the waitress tells me they’re out of the grapefruit necessary so I get a margarita. It’s restaurant week, so we each get three courses for $30. I order a charcuterie board as my starter, salmon for the main dish, and a cheesecake mousse thing for dessert. We all try each other’s starters — F. gets butternut squash arancini-type balls that taste like churros and K. gets fried alligator. TBH, I’m not into either of them. My salmon tastes great but our desserts come out while we’re halfway through our mains so I rush to finish. By the time we’re ready to eat the desserts they’re all melted anyway. It’s a weird vibe and our server seems mad at us but we’re all too weenie to tip less than 20%. ($44.70 with tip). $44.70

7:30 p.m. — F. and K. drive back to park at my apartment and K. comes in to pee. We walk to a nearby bar to play trivia but there aren’t any tables open. We go to a different bar to kill time because tables will open up after the first round of trivia. I buy a beer ($7 with tip) and the three of us play the bar’s game of Trivial Pursuit from the ’80s. We play a highly adjusted game full of hints but still celebrate wildly whenever anyone gets a question right. K. wins! By the time we go back to the original bar, K.’s friends are there with a table and it’s halfway through Round two. $7

10 p.m. — We walk back to my apartment after coming in second which awards…no prize. But we had fun! F. and K. head home and I head in to get ready for bed.

10:15 p.m. — I realize I left my big iced coffee cup at school for the second day in a row… guess I’ll be Starbucksing again tomorrow! I’m trying to be more disappointed in myself but truly I’m looking forward to it. I do feel badly about the plastic use though. My metal straw only does so much.

Daily Total: $51.70

Day Five

7:09 a.m. — I leave the house later than I wanted to and also makeup-less. At least I’m showered and wearing a cozy sweater. This diary is showing me that I start the day later and later as the week goes on…not surprising but telling. I put $10 on my Starbucks app to get the day going and pick it up on my way in. $10

7:30 a.m. — Arrive at work. Today, I have to administer twice as much the testing as I did the past two days. Then, a midday meeting has me feeling overwhelmed in a way I haven’t felt in a minute. Luckily, I can go outside to recess duty right after. Fresh air and funny kids make me feel better but I’m a little crabbier than usual. I’ll use my shining personality to make up for it tomorrow. I also haven’t been cracking through my to-do list the way I did before winter break. Could it be… my fault? I remind myself to make a therapy appointment to get grounded.

4:45 p.m. — I leave work and head to Dollar Tree. Every Friday, teachers rotate bringing breakfast for the staff. Tomorrow is my (and another teacher’s) day. For some reason, my brain tells me Dollar Tree is a good place to buy plates and napkins but when I get there I realize the plates (logically) only come in packs of 10. I check my Kroger app and realize it’d be more economical to go there. I do buy cotton pads and rubbing alcohol because I will need them at some point ($2.15). I like to dab rubbing alcohol on pimples. I know this is a terrible idea, but it makes me feel clean in the same way that Sea Breeze Astringent did in early adolescence. Can’t wait to be 60 years old and have sandpaper for skin. I buy paper plates, paper napkins, and plastic flatware at Kroger ($4.33). If I realized when I was at Dollar Tree that plastic knives aren’t usually sold separately, I could have saved a quarter. Damn! $6.48

6 p.m. — I meet my friend, S., at my second Restaurant Week stop of the week! I order their cheapest glass of red. This place has three courses for $30 too — I get the Caesar salad, New York strip with green beans and garlic mashed potatoes, and a Kahlua brownie. Yay, leftovers! I have a terrible habit of cleaning my plate no matter how stuffed I am, which is how I know these portions are huge. We laugh a lot and have a second glass of wine while we eat. S. tells me I need to give people second chances. In theory, I agree. When it’s strangers from dating apps, I’m less inclined. ($56.70 with tip) $56.70

8:30 p.m. — I give S. 50 cents for her meter before we walk around the mall. S. buys a sweatshirt from Homage and we browse West Elm. I imagine what it would be like to decorate my entire apartment with their stuff. For a minute it feels beautiful but then I realize it would be pretty bland, even for a basic gal like me. $0.50

9:30 a.m. — I head home listening to the “Songs to Sing in the Shower” playlist on Spotify. Once home, I order a ton of bagels and cream cheese from Panera to pick up for breakfast tomorrow ($45.96). My cohost is bringing fruit and will end up Venmo-ing me for whatever is half of the bagels, fruit, and paper products combined. For now, we’ll count it as mine. I wash my big iced coffee cup and fill it up for tomorrow, then head to bed and futz around on the computer until way too late. $45.96

Daily Total: $119.64

Day Six

6:10 a.m. — Up! I get ready quickly and head out to pick up the bagels. I make it one block before I realize I left my coffee in the fridge. Turn around because I can’t let myself down AGAIN!

7:05 a.m. — I arrive at work and set up the bagels. Feel like it’s going to be a loooong day.

3:45 p.m. — Leave work with some leftover bagels. It was actually a good day and went surprisingly quickly! I got to see a lot more students individually today than I did the rest of the week which made me feel productive and also like I’m doing my actual job. I ate a plain but toasted chocolate chip bagel and a cookie from a teacher throughout the day. I swear I eat vegetables sometimes! Since I’m babysitting tonight on the same side of town, I try to kill time after dismissal. I don’t want to waste gas by driving home but eventually, I have to get out of the building. It’s Friday!

4:30 p.m. — I get home after hitting up the library to pick up my hold on Conversations with Friends. I eat my leftovers from last night and start working on my tax return (TurboTax’s free version). I have my W-2 but realize I haven’t received any 1099-INTs or my 1098-T. I am the type of person to do my taxes ASAP. I want that refund! Honestly, I’ll probably just put it in my savings.

5:45 p.m. — I leave to go to babysit. I don’t babysit a lot anymore, but I do love this family. I’ve nannied for them the past two summers and the kids are so great!

12 a.m. — I have so much fun with these kids — I haven’t seen them since July so it feels good to get to be with them again. We eat frozen pizza while asking each other a million questions, play a board game, and watch Hook. I stay an hour after the parents come home just catching up. I make a brain commitment to stay in better touch with this family because I have so much fun with them. Back at home, I eat half an untoasted asiago bagel, wash my face, and get in bed.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven

8:45 a.m. — Some noise from the unit downstairs wakes me up. I respond to a funny text from the mom from last night, turn over and go back to sleep.

12 p.m. — That’s better. Because I know myself and know that I never get enough sleep on weekdays, I try to let myself wake up naturally at least once a week.

12:45 p.m. — I finally get up-up and fix an iced coffee and plain bagel toasted with chive and onion cream cheese. I take it back to bed and eat while watching Real Housewives of New Jersey. I am very cognizant of crumbs, don’t worry.

2 p.m. — Every day I track my expenses in a spreadsheet. I spend some time looking at my budget and pay my credit card bill ($1,594.19). I pay my bill in full every month and track charges as I make them, so this does not count as an expense. This statement is higher than usual. It includes some holiday purchases, a few group purchases that I was Venmo-ed for, and a plane ticket to Europe. My lovely school breakfast cohost also happens to Venmo me $15.88 for yesterday.

3 p.m. — While scrolling through Instagram, I see an advertisement for a charcuterie mini-workshop happening next week. I send a link to my friend L. who replies, “so are we going?” I confirm with her and then buy two tickets ($35.10). She’ll Venmo me half. $17.55

6 p.m. — I leave my house to go hang out with S. I go a little bit out of the way to stop at Trader Joe’s. I buy a big bottle of sparkling water, sweet potato chips, and milk chocolate-covered pretzels for us to snack on ($6.27). You always need a sweet and a salty! My gas light goes on while I’m driving there. I’ll deal with that later. $6.27

11 p.m. — We watch four episodes of Dirty John and eat snacks. This show is so unsettling. I didn’t realize it was based on true events until after the first episode. While watching the second, I read the six-part LA Times report about the events… I am terrible at waiting to find out what happens. Such a twist though! On the way home, I stop by a gas station to remedy the gas light situation but am kind of on edge from the show. I only fill up partially ($15.12). $15.12

11:40 p.m. — Home, sweet home.

Daily Total: $38.94

Money Diaries are meant to reflect individual women’s experiences and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

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For a Hollywood actress, Eva Mendes doesn’t have much of a public presence — and that’s not a coincidence. The mother of two and fashion designer for New York & Co. is steadfast in her commitment to privacy, avoiding interviews, red-carpet events, and any L.A. hotspots where paparazzi may be lurking.

By design, we don’t know much about the 45-year-old’s personal life — but this weekend, the ever-elusive celebrity gave her fans a little peek into what she’s been up to lately. The star took to Instagram to share a big 2020 update in the form of a new-year haircut, showing her signature long waves cropped into a chic blunt lob.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Eva Mendes (@evamendes) on Feb 1, 2020 at 11:10am PST

In the short clip, Mendes flips her freshly-chopped lob for the camera. She’s styled it with an olive-green velvet headband, paired perfectly with her chunky gold hoops and a patterned blazer from her own collection.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Giannandrea (@giannandreahair) on Feb 1, 2020 at 11:39am PST

Mendes gave credit to her hairstylist Giannandrea, who posted the same post-chop video on his Instagram feed with a little more background on how it came to fruition. “I was stunned when she asked me to [cut her hair],” he wrote in the caption. “And here she’s all chic, a modern designer business woman and cool mama.” Our thoughts exactly.

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Goodie bags were always the best part of a birthday party. You don’t just go home, you go home with a bag full of knick-knacks for even making the effort to leave the house: rubber balls, paddle-ball, costume jewelry, slime, play makeup, and ample space for piñata candy

The 92nd Academy Awards counts itself as one of the biggest nights in Hollywood. And while guests will be treated to a Billie Eilish performance and a plant-based meal at the afterparty, those hardly match all the effort the stars put into the occasion with everything from nomination-worthy performances to jaw-dropping red carpet looks. So a niche marketing company called Distinctive Assets will once again distribute the official unofficial “Everyone Wins” Oscars gift bags to all 24 nominees.

Everyone from Saorise Ronan to Bong Joon Ho will leave with a bag full of all kinds of treats, collectively valued at nearly $215,000, including a 12-day yacht vacation valued at about $80,000. Distinctive Assets founder Lash Fary told Forbes that the gifts hardly fit in a single gift bag, and are instead delivered to nominees in a number of suitcases over the course of a few weeks preceding award night.

The “bag” also includes a bottle of hand-crafted white absinthe, CBD simple syrup, hydrogen-infused water, and an assortment of French macarons. On the more extravagant end, the nominees will receive a bath bomb with 24 karat gold and hyaluronic acid and an amethyst crystal as well as a stay at the Faro Cumplida lighthouse in Spain’s Canary Islands, and at-home cannabis-infused chocolate tasting for eight adults. But the bag also includes a bottle of Rita Ora’s Próspero Tequila, two Exploding Kittens-Exploding Kittens and Throw Throw Burrito games, and a Pepperidge Farm Dark Chocolate Milano two-pack

This is not an official Oscars gift bag, but is sure is extravagantly star-worthy. This whole gift-bag situation definitely skirts around familiarly frustrating territory: Why is it that the few people with enough money to pay for such luxuries are the only ones that get them for free? I guess it just pays to be rich.

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It happened in his most recent call to action, specifically to help garner fundraising and support for his campaign. Sanders tweeted out a video of him wearing a heavy winter coat in his trademark east coast accent asking for donations. Below him read the words “I am once again asking for your financial support.”

The truth is, we have an excellent chance to win the primary and beat Trump.

But the only way we can do that is if we have the sufficient financial resources.

So I am asking you today to contribute to our campaign before the FEC deadline: https://t.co/9y9BZMs0GM pic.twitter.com/wnYbUDBynW

— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) December 30, 2019

For reasons that we cannot quite put into words, the Internet reacted in kind, quickly turning Sanders into a meme that we’ve now dubbed “I am once again asking.” The meme is simple: replace the words “for your financial support” with basically any other request that would definitely not be delivered as a serious demand Bernie Sanders, and let the laughs roll in. Here are some examples:

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Amnesia at its finest #memes #meme #funnymemes #memes😂 #dankmemes #memesdaily #memepage #memestagram #memelord #iamonceagainaskingforyourfinancialsupport

A post shared by memepage (@meme_is_my_religion) on Feb 2, 2020 at 4:11am PST

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dewy Dudes (@dewydudes) on Feb 1, 2020 at 11:56am PST

And, the meme became Super Bowl relevant quite quickly, too.

I am once again asking you to stop talking to me about sports

— Kate Willett (@katewillett) February 3, 2020

Sanders’ popularity with younger, left-leaning voters has always been present, and his penchant for staying in meme territory comes at an important time for him at the polls. As of Monday, the politician is among four leading candidate in Iowa as the state’s Caucus Day occurs. As of Monday afternoon, Sanders holds a firm 28 percent compared to former Vice President Joe Biden’s 21 percent.

Looking back to his days as the Democratic presidential hopeful in 2016, its no surprise that Sanders makes for a great meme, considering his youthful voter-base who have a penchant for turning everything into an Instagram pun. Moreover, Sanders’ fundraising and support rallies are essentially millennial + gen z bait, particularly when he throws benefit concerts with bands like Vampire Weekend and Bon Iver, who have also cemented their support for the Vermont Senator. His continued memeability is only the icing on the cake.

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The words “Black History Month” often evoke stories of luminaries like Rosa Parks and Dr Martin Luther King Jr. While their legacies will always be crucial to the culture, this year, we’re going beyond. Roots is R29Unbothered’s Black History Month series that delves into the tangled history of Black identity, beauty and contributions to the culture. Follow along as we shine light on Black history and Black present throughout February and beyond — because Black history is made every day.

As an African American woman who is unsure where she stems from, I have always been curious about my roots. But I’m not one of those people who will be giving the government my DNA to figure it out, so I guess I’ll never get an Ancestry.com report. My Uncle Lee, who is one of my favorite uncles, did a family tree years before he died. I learned my grandmother’s grandmother was born a slave on the White Oak plantation in Camden, South Carolina and was thought to be a Native American from the Catawban tribe from Rock Hill, SC.

Though I learned a bit about my mother’s family origin, I’m still unclear about where my dad’s people are from. All I know is his great-grandfather was a slave. 

With so many secrets around my family history and family members unwilling to share details about our heritage, it made it twice as challenging to narrow down my roots. One thing I do know is that I am from Africa, and I’ve always had a lot of questions about my homeland. What is Africa like? What are African people like? How are we different? How are we the same? When the opportunity to participate in Ghana’s Year of Return presented itself, I was ready to head to The Motherland to get some answers.

The Year of Return was a year-long initiative led by The Ghana Tourism Authority in 2019. It consisted of tours, celebrations and cultural events in an effort to attract African Americans and the African diaspora back to their figurative homeland to increase tourism and generate economic aid for the country. The initiative served as a commemoration of those displaced by the Transatlantic Slave Trade 400 years after the earliest record of enslaved Africans arrived in Jamestown, Virginia. Whether my roots sprung from Ghana or not, YOR felt like a “welcome home” to those of us who were scattered as a result of slavery. This was one historic event I was not going to miss. So, a group of friends and I decided to embark on a journey — back home. 

It’s reported that YOR attracted up to one million visitors and boosted the economy by an estimated $1.9 billion. Between air travel, hotel accommodations, transport fares, tours, and entertainment events like Afrochella and Full Circle — which was hosted by Boris Kodjoe and Essence — Ghana reached its goal of impacting the country’s economy. But the impact went far beyond that. It was a life-changing experience for all those who attended.

“I have always wanted to visit to get a full understanding of the pain and suffering of our ancestors,” Mrs. Tina Knowles-Lawson (yes, Beyoncé’ and Solange’s mama), who visited Ghana during the Year of Return, shared with me. “It actually connected the dots on so many levels for me. Our resilience, our incredible human spirit to survive any conditions, our forgiving hearts. I felt proud to know that we were not slaves only enslaved, but we came from Queens and Kings.”

Among the most memorable moments of the trip was visiting the Elmina Slave Castle, one of the largest slave castles that existed during the Transatlantic slave trade about three hours outside of Accra near Cape Coast. We booked a driver to take us to the castle and hired a tour guide to teach us the castle’s history. I was filled with so many emotions during the experience. The reality that my people were beaten, raped, humiliated, starved and tormented in this space was sickening. At times, I felt I could hear the screams or even smell the stench of the dead bodies. We walked into the dungeons that held up to 400 women for nearly three months until it was time for them to walk through the “Door of No Return.” 

In this same castle, there was a room where the governor notoriously raped the enslaved women. We witnessed the path those women took as they walked out of his room after being sexually abused and violated. We stood in the holes where our ancestors were starved if they were disobedient. I have read so much about my history — our history — but to be in the same place where these events occurred, and to touch the same walls they clenched as they were being ripped from their land was absolutely gut-wrenching.

American history books teach that President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863, declaring that all persons held as slaves be freed. But it wasn’t until two years later — on January 31st, 1865 — that the 13th Amendment was passed, abolishing slavery. For many black folks, our day of freedom didn’t come until June 19th, 1865,  also known as Juneteenth or Freedom Day, which marks the day Texas received news that all slaves were free. This would be the official end of slavery.

During my trip, I walked around The Black Star Square — also known as Independence Square — which was erected in 1961 in the heart of Accra to commemorate Ghana declaring independence from Britain on March 6th,1957. I thought about how Ghanians and I share the long-lasting effect of being under the rule of white Europeans for centuries, and having to fight for our freedom.

We shopped at the Centre For National Culture and racked up on so many goodies made by locals near and far. I got great bags, fans, clothing, jewelry, headbands and ornaments  — and the one thing I really wanted to bring back home: shea butter, the king to black skin. Ghana grows vast amounts of shea nut trees, which produce shea butter so there was an abundance of natural shea butter at my fingertips. I also attended the Naturall Fest, a one-day festival that attracted local vendors selling everything from natural hair and skin products, clothing, oils, scents, soaps and lotions.

This epic trip also gave me great insight as to why black folks can season food so well. We get it from our ancestors! The food in Ghana was so good! I got a chance to try out popular traditional West African dishes like jollof, which is a rice-based dish with tomato, peppers and lots of seasoning. I also had Red Red, which is made with black-eyed peas (black people love black-eyed peas), palm oil, vegetables, plantains, and of course, lots of seasoning. 

Although not specific to Ghanian culture, I had a Fulani dinner inspired by the Fulani, also called Fulbe, a primarily Muslim ethnic group scattered across West Africa. The chef who cooked for us spends her time in Fulani grandmothers’ kitchens learning their recipes, puts a little twist on it and hosts magical three-course dinners for her guests. Like the Fulani people, my friends and I had a nomadic dining experience. We enjoyed our tea and meal on a mat while we ate with our hands.

Ghana’s humid climate would not let my kinky, curly hair be great, but there were no shortage of places to get my hair braided. The tradition of hair braiding is said to have started thousands of years ago in North Africa. It is a practice I started at five years old, and still practice to this day. I went to Aunty Ali’s, a hair braiding shop located behind a local shopping mart, to get straight back cornrows in my hair. Aunty Ali is a small business owner and it really felt like I was at my aunty’s house. She was loving, kind, creative, full of joy, and so were the several young women she employs. I loved how quickly they worked, and how inexpensive it was — it took them about 45 minutes and only cost me $9. I wish there was an Aunty Ali here in Harlem! 

Music is a big part of African culture. African music has influenced music all over the world, including jazz, hip hop, R&B and even classical. Like in African American culture, music is used in Africa as a form of communication, at weddings, rights of passage, and spiritual ceremonies. The beats and the bass all inspire our dance, from twerking and Harlem shaking to line dancing. I attended a one-day music festival in Accra called Afrochella, which celebrated African culture, highlighting food, fashion, art and music. This is where I learned that no one parties like Africans! The music ranged from everything from house music, Afrobeats, reggae and hip hop. It was amazing to dance with my brothers and sisters from all over the world each night, all night!

Although I’m still not sure of my exact genealogical origins, the Year of Return felt like a homecoming. There was something incredible about being surrounded by people who looked like me and shared my culture in some way, shape or form. And I wasn’t alone in that sentiment.

“I loved the whole experience from the warm, beautiful, welcoming people, to the beautiful beaches, the food, the music, the fashion. I loved it all,” said Knowles-Lawson. “To be in a place where we are the majority was magical — where the president is black, and people in power are black, brought such a sense of pride. I am going back next year for sure!” 

I am grateful for the opportunity to visit The Motherland. I learned a lot about the land my ancestors came from. I learned we’re not that different. Although diverse, the only thing that really separates us is the body of water that divides us. The Year of Return left me inspired to explore more of West Africa. Next up…Senegal!

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Sammy Jaye is living proof that you’re never too young to have a point of view. At seventeen, Jaye just became the youngest person to have a nationally syndicated podcast. The fact that she is so young might give her an edge in a world obsessed with youth culture and courting Gen Z, but Jaye isn’t here to speak on behalf of a generation. Her newly-launched iHeart Radio podcast includes interviews with Finneas, Kesha, and Meghan Trainor, during which her goal is to have relaxed and honest conversations that aren’t bound by age. 

Jaye often transitions with the phrase “let’s be real,” and it’s also the name of her podcast. And in the spirit of transparency, she admits that it was a family friend who helped her first get her foot in the door. She cut her teeth interviewing artists like Jordan Fisher and Julia Michaels when she was 13 and worked as Radio Disney’s East Coast correspondent for three years. At this point, she’s proven herself enough times to be confident in her abilities and built up a support system of mentors that have pushed her to pursue her dreams. Her podcast is a record of just how smart and disarming Sammy Jaye is as an interviewer. Refinery29 caught up with the high schooler a few days before her podcast launch to talk about everything from mood boards to dream guests.

Refinery29: How did you first get into podcasting?

Sammy Jaye: I fell into it by accident. I started listening to podcasts on YouTube, first just because it was a long form of content to listen to while I was cleaning my room. I eventually discovered the wide range that there was and then, last year when I was a sophomore in high school, I wanted [to create] something that was dealing with what I was going through with my anxiety. When I was too anxious to go out I would just listen to podcasts. And it was a very weird coping mechanism, but I taught myself Keynote and I wrote my dream podcast in a presentation. I never thought it’d get picked up, but it was a good distraction. And I pitched it to iHeart because I had done a few interviews for them and they were interested and they agreed that there wasn’t anything like this.

R29: How did you work your way up to a place where you could just pitch your dream podcast?

SJ: I started writing for my [school] newspaper in the seventh grade. I wanted to try something new and it became something I was really interested in and through that, I started interviewing people. And keep in mind, I have a learning disability, a processing disorder, so you wouldn’t think on paper, that a girl with processing issues enjoys talking to people to an extent where I’m following up, I’m listening, because that was something I used to struggle with a lot.

I was talking to a family friend who worked at iHeart, I was thirteen at the time, and she liked my personality. She told me to come by and do an interview at Z100 from a thirteen-year old’s perspective. I didn’t want her to do me any favors because we were friends, but she insisted. I got an email a few weeks later about interviewing an up-and-coming artist and it was Jordan Fisher. So I did a test interview with him and we got along really great.

When I sat down in the Z100 guest chair, Maxwell, who’s the host and whom I love said: “No, you’re sitting in the big girl chair, you’re sitting in the hosting chair.” And I just had fun. That September I started working with iHeart.

The second interview was a Facebook Live with Hailey Steinfeld, with 30,000 people watching and I had this adrenaline rush. Because I used to struggle with talking to people and interacting with people. Then, that September I was doing social content for iHeart and I saw Jordan again, he introduced me to the head of Radio Disney and that November I did my first event for them at the Thanksgiving Day Parade and I’ve been working for them ever since.

R29: So what is your vision for your podcast? What are you hoping your listeners find?

SJ: The guests get interviewed all the time and the question is how do you change it up? When you change it up you take this censor down of people who have millions of followers. They’re media-trained and they have their rehearsed answers. I think what I have working in my favor is that because I’m 17 I can break down that barrier a bit and it’s really fun to see what’s behind that.

For instance, with Kesha, I grew up on [her song] TiK ToK — we listened to that at camp — and when she came on my podcast we had this 45-minute conversation and I felt like I’d known her for years. And it’s getting to rehumanize these people and it’s putting them in a room and just talking.

It’s crazy for me because I’m a fan but you get to stop and think that they’re not just what the media says about them. They cry like real people and it’s so easy to forget that. That’s what so great about this, for me at least, it’s a reminder that we’re all just people.

R29: How do you deal with being the youngest person in the room?

SJ: I think it’s a matter of people being, “Okay, why is this 17-year old pitching this? Why should we trust her?” and I think it’s a matter of first gaining their respect and letting them know that I do have an opinion and my opinion is valid no matter my age. But let’s be real, our generation is kind of badass and we’re fixing the world – from March for Our Lives to Greta Thunberg – and I think now more than ever that shows. So it’s mainly after I show them what I can bring to the table then, it’s all good. But I have to prove myself to them first.

R29: Do you ever feel like you’re put in this Gen Z box? Do you ever feel responsible for speaking on behalf of a generation?

SJ: I think that’s how it started. People wanted a different perspective and it wasn’t like I’d be the voice for everybody. Because let’s be real, everybody is different and one of the things you need to do is embrace that everyone is different. So with the podcast — we go from people who are 16 to 25 because age doesn’t matter because it’s all about what they have to say.

R29: Does being the “youngest person with a syndicated podcast” feel like a big hat to wear? Does that achievement weigh on you in any way? 

SJ: It doesn’t feel like a big hat to wear because I’m just doing what I love. So it doesn’t feel like work or this thing that I have to uphold, because at the end of the day I just have to remind myself that they like me for me. If I bring that to the table that’s all I can do. And with the pressure to be perfect and cancel culture, all you can really do is be yourself. And I just try to remind myself of that.

R29: Who were you listening to when you first got into podcasts?

SJ: I was really into Shane Dawson’s podcast, Fullscreen, and then I started listening to Cody Ko’s Tiny Meat Gang podcast and I kind of went down the wormhole. I really love Dax Sheppard’s podcast. 

I really love watching interview shows, like the Zach Sang show or Hot Ones. The questions are so insightful and inspired me to do better. 

R29: Do you have any role models or peers you turn to for career guidance or to commiserate with?

SJ: Role models, in general, are really important to me. Like when I’m down, I’ll just watch videos of Lin Manuel Miranda or Michelle Obama or Oprah and I get rejuvenated and inspired. I generally like to talk to people who are more experienced than I am just so I can learn and get their advice. I definitely think having mentors is so important because it gives you someone to bounce ideas off of creatively, it’s someone who you trust, they can teach you what to do in a situation and I like finding multiple people you can trust. Especially in this industry where some people don’t have the best intentions.

I had people that, when I was creating my presentation they gave of their time to review it and see what to change and those little things make all the difference. Mentors are a huge part of my career, whenever I have a question or an idea about something I text or call them and ask to meet to run some ideas. Plus you don’t know who they know, so it’s good to stay connected and meet new people.

R29: Who do you count as your dream guests?

SJ: I have a mood board. I made one this summer because my cousin forced me to. It has dream interviews. My top three in life are Lin Manuel Miranda, Oprah, and Michelle Obama.

R29: Do you see yourself branching out? Like beyond the show, do you see yourself trying anything new?

SJ: I think everything and anything. If I interviewed a beauty guru I’d love to do their makeup; Jaqueline Hill would be one of my dream interviews. [I want to continue] working with Radio Disney, they’re my other family. I love them. I’d love to make a documentary on the educational system. I’d love to write a book, I’m not sure about what yet. I just have a few ideas bouncing around but I just want to try everything because I’m young and I think the more things I try the more I’ll find things I love. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

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The New York trial against ousted movie mogul Harvey Weinstein came to a sudden halt yesterday when one of the women laying charges of sexual assault against Weinstein became inconsolable on the witness stand.

The woman, Jessica Mann, who is one of two women accusing Weinstein in the supreme court case, was reportedly subjected to more than four hours of relentless questioning from Weinstein’s defense attorney, Donna Rotunno. Mann accused Weinstein of violently raping her twice in 2013, but Weinstein’s team had a different take on the events that passed.

In opening statements, Rotunno and her defense team promised to refrain from shaming Weinstein’s accusers, but their tactics seemed to shift after the emotional first testimony of Annabella Sciorra. Since then, multiple women have taken the stand, with each testimony proving to crack Weinstein’s defense even further. When Mann was questioned on Monday about the alleged rape, Weinstein’s defense team did not hold back in trying to make a case that the accuser was lying about the event altogether.

“You manipulated Mr. Weinstein every single time you saw him, isn’t that correct?” Rotunno, notorious for her aggressive cross-examination style, asked Mann. “Every time you engaged in consensual sexual encounters with him you manipulated him, isn’t that correct? You made him feel you wanted sexual relations with him.” Mann disagreed saying, “No, that is not correct.”

This isn’t the first time Weinstein’s lawyers blamed his accusers. In a Nightline interview, Rotunno said that in “circumstances where women don’t want to take certain responsibilities for their actions, we infantilize ourselves.”

This line of questioning continued until the supreme court judge presiding over the case, James Burke, called for a recess until Tuesday morning after Mann appeared to have a panic attack brought on when Rotunno asked her to read aloud an email she sent to her ex-boyfriend. The email, sent in May 2014, described her experience with Weinstein as well as a previous, unrelated sexual assault. The suspension was called when even after a brief break, Mann was still too upset to answer further questions.

On Tuesday, testimonies resumed after the grueling questioning of Jessica Mann. Rotunno continued her line of questioning focusing on the emails exchanged between Mann and Weinstein after the alleged assaults. This time, she singled out Mann’s tone in their correspondence, why she didn’t report it earlier, and questioning why Mann would stay in contact with a man who she claims assaulted her. While it wasn’t quite as striking as Monday’s clear tactic to pressure Mann into taking responsibility for her alleged rape, this line of questioning still elicited the same concerns over victim-blaming, and is often part of the reason many women cease to come forward all together.

According to RAINN, the most recurring reason women do not report sexual assault is out of fear of retaliation. Further reasons for not reporting include the belief that law enforcement would do nothing to help. That says nothing of women considering speaking out against someone who has considerable influence and power in a very public industry. Additionally, women who have survived sexual assault are more likely to experience post-traumatic stress disorder afterward.

Weinstein faces charges in New York, Los Angeles, and London. In this particular trial, he is charged with two counts of felony predatory sexual assault, one felony count of criminal sexual act, two felony counts of rape. Mann and Mimi Haleyi, a former production assistant. Weinstein has denied all charges laid against him, but if convicted, he faces life in prison.

Only two women are named in this case, but the list of women who have told their own stories of being allegedly sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed by Weinstein adds up to over 100 women, reports the Guardian. This case only addresses the accounts of Mann and Haleyi.

If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

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